It’s been a while since I posted anything. This is probably because I feel as though anything I post must be smart or funny or insightful. Either that or I feel conflicted when posting on my homepage; who will read it? What do they want or do not want to know about me? We all have multiple facets to our personality and we use context to decide which ones to show. This is my homepage, what is supposed to be a general portal to things meg open to family and friends and colleagues. The context it ill-defined. I don’t want to define it. I’d rather post “general meg”.
So this is general. I’ve been busy, or at least feeling really busy (had time to finish watching all consecutive x-files episodes). Research and work motivation has gone up.
Fitness motivation is on the rise. I started taking yoga classes seriously and have been really enjoying them. They are hard, I find them hard, I find myself soft but everytime I go I feel like there is one more thing that I can do. Even though I usually also find something I cannot do or that I was doing wrong, there is always that +1 in level. Today the class went into crane (or crow) pose, something that I have never come close to doing. Today I lifted one foot off the ground, pressing into my hands, feeling the strength needed from my wrists. I leaned forward into my arms and for a few seconds, had both feet off the ground. That had been a challenge for me in previous classes, getting my feet off the ground. Part of it is from a lack of strength in my arms, strength I’m trying to build. Another part is from uncertainty I have in my body. My practice is about many things and one of them is developing trust in myself, trust in what I can do and how I can support myself. It’s like that exercise where you fall back into someone’s arms. In this case I’m letting myself fall forward, letting my feet leave the ground.