This will be short. I am here. Wow – hard to believe. Things are going well. So many exciting and interesting things. A lot of stimulus but also places that I wander around that are quiet and quaint. Many contrasts. I have some pictures and will post them once I get some access at home. Hope you are all well.
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There was going to be an official pull the plug on the router ceremony but I forgot. Then I pulled the plug. Then I realized that I can steal the neighbor’s wifi. Hehe. I am almost all packed. It’s hard to believe. This morning I woke up with a hangover. Not a terrible one but enough to make the day’s tasks that much more painful. Oh well. I had a good time last night so it was worth it.
I want to right more, but man I’m too exhausted and there is still more to be done. My next post might be in Japan. Either that or YVR but hopefully I can avoid the temptation. Probably not. See you all tomorrow.
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Can’t capture the emptiness of my apartment right now. My voice echoes and my typing echoes but you can’t hear that. It’s just empty. I am really going. I can’t stay here because when I walk inside and try to put my keys down, that shelf is no longer there.
Moving is the ultimate destroyer of habits. That’s freeing and freakish at the same time. What will the Japan-Meg do? What will my morning routine be?
Maybe I will dream about that tonight. Right now, I am exhausted.
From last night:
Taking a break from packing. Tomorrow I drive too many things to a storage container that is too far away. I packed my map of the Greater Vancouver Area. Damn. I am starting to hate owning things. Why do I have 6 tall blue glasses when I am only…(looks)…one person? Other things of note in the move:
- this morning a couple picked up my dresser and filing cabinet. I helped them down the stairs and then stood at the front entrance while they, in the pouring rain, worked at getting the dresser in their sedan. I almost walked out to help but the man said, “oh don’t worry, you’ll wet”. I stood there, watching, until they had both things in the car. I waved goodbye and said, “have a good day!”. At that moment I realized that I had transferred furniture emotional attachment to the people buying the furniture. They were suddenly my best friends. I might have creeped them out.
- I have some boxes from Public Storage. During a packing lull, I was staring at the French side of the box – “Entrepôt Public”. We had a l’Entrepôt in my grade 8 classroom. It was a very small room with shelves and textbooks. It’s only today that I realize that Entrepôt is storage. I always thought that l’Entrepôt was…The Entrepôt Funny how you accept words in another language without ever knowing the meaning.
There are maybe, 4 more boxes of things to pack. Still, every 20 minutes I find something that I missed. Packing feels neverending.
I’m in a really rank mood today. Trying so hard not to be but I feel like I ate a grump and washed it down with sweet self pity. If I were a man I would look unshaven today…maybe 5 days worth of stubble. But I’m a woman and I have no card to show like that. Maybe today would be a sweatpants day? Or a baseball cap day? Not for me. I refuse to wear sweatpants in public and a hat indoors feels inappropriate (damn you grade 1 to 8 conditioning).
I was about to start complaining about work, my resistance to doing this work (hence sitting here writing at the moment), my issues around asking people for help, etc. but I don’t think any of that complaining will actually help me get what I need done done. That and I know it’s all self brought on. A task overwhelms me, I think of all the impossibilities possible and then they become my reality because I am smart like that. So smart that I can fabricate this seamless tale that even someone as smart as myself can’t distinguish the tale from reality. I trick myself into thinking a task is impossible and it’s only with an external push or luck or a bout of self realization that I am able to remove myself from this discouragement and get ‘er done.
That being said, I guess today I do feel somewhat powerful because I know how I might try to trick myself, discourage myself. I can catch that and remind myself that I am the only one making the reasons. I am being practical but practical is not getting the job done. So I should go do it no matter what the limitations may seem to be.
Still, I’m in a little bit of a bad mood – when you start seeing through a part of yourself, it doesn’t mean that part will necessarily shut up. My logic tires me.
