This will be short. I am here. Wow - hard to believe. Things are going well. So many exciting and interesting things. A lot of stimulus but also places that I wander around that are quiet and quaint. Many contrasts. I have some pictures and will post them once I get some access at home. Hope you are all well.
There was going to be an official pull the plug on the router ceremony but I forgot. Then I pulled the plug. Then I realized that I can steal the neighbor’s wifi. Hehe. I am almost all packed. It’s hard to believe. This morning I woke up with a hangover. Not a terrible one but enough to make the day’s tasks that much more painful. Oh well. I had a good time last night so it was worth it.
I want to right more, but man I’m too exhausted and there is still more to be done. My next post might be in Japan. Either that or YVR but hopefully I can avoid the temptation. Probably not. See you all tomorrow.
Can’t capture the emptiness of my apartment right now. My voice echoes and my typing echoes but you can’t hear that. It’s just empty. I am really going. I can’t stay here because when I walk inside and try to put my keys down, that shelf is no longer there.
Moving is the ultimate destroyer of habits. That’s freeing and freakish at the same time. What will the Japan-Meg do? What will my morning routine be?
Maybe I will dream about that tonight. Right now, I am exhausted.
From last night:
Taking a break from packing. Tomorrow I drive too many things to a storage container that is too far away. I packed my map of the Greater Vancouver Area. Damn. I am starting to hate owning things. Why do I have 6 tall blue glasses when I am only…(looks)…one person? Other things of note in the move:
- this morning a couple picked up my dresser and filing cabinet. I helped them down the stairs and then stood at the front entrance while they, in the pouring rain, worked at getting the dresser in their sedan. I almost walked out to help but the man said, “oh don’t worry, you’ll wet”. I stood there, watching, until they had both things in the car. I waved goodbye and said, “have a good day!”. At that moment I realized that I had transferred furniture emotional attachment to the people buying the furniture. They were suddenly my best friends. I might have creeped them out.
- I have some boxes from Public Storage. During a packing lull, I was staring at the French side of the box - “Entrepôt Public”. We had a l’Entrepôt in my grade 8 classroom. It was a very small room with shelves and textbooks. It’s only today that I realize that Entrepôt is storage. I always thought that l’Entrepôt was…The Entrepôt Funny how you accept words in another language without ever knowing the meaning.
There are maybe, 4 more boxes of things to pack. Still, every 20 minutes I find something that I missed. Packing feels neverending.
I’m in a really rank mood today. Trying so hard not to be but I feel like I ate a grump and washed it down with sweet self pity. If I were a man I would look unshaven today…maybe 5 days worth of stubble. But I’m a woman and I have no card to show like that. Maybe today would be a sweatpants day? Or a baseball cap day? Not for me. I refuse to wear sweatpants in public and a hat indoors feels inappropriate (damn you grade 1 to 8 conditioning).
I was about to start complaining about work, my resistance to doing this work (hence sitting here writing at the moment), my issues around asking people for help, etc. but I don’t think any of that complaining will actually help me get what I need done done. That and I know it’s all self brought on. A task overwhelms me, I think of all the impossibilities possible and then they become my reality because I am smart like that. So smart that I can fabricate this seamless tale that even someone as smart as myself can’t distinguish the tale from reality. I trick myself into thinking a task is impossible and it’s only with an external push or luck or a bout of self realization that I am able to remove myself from this discouragement and get ‘er done.
That being said, I guess today I do feel somewhat powerful because I know how I might try to trick myself, discourage myself. I can catch that and remind myself that I am the only one making the reasons. I am being practical but practical is not getting the job done. So I should go do it no matter what the limitations may seem to be.
Still, I’m in a little bit of a bad mood - when you start seeing through a part of yourself, it doesn’t mean that part will necessarily shut up. My logic tires me.
9.5 days…packed up…on plane…soon…scary…kim here…sleepy…from wine…looking forward to weekend…last in Vancouver…kind of…whirlwind…website needs updating…but it hasn’t been a week…but so much will not be done…can it ever be all done?
I want to get it all done…in this lifetime…will soak up the new country…but first must enjoy the last essentials of this one…don’t want to say goodbye because it’s so final…it’s only a year…will be back in no time…but when I am back where will I go…still sleeepy…just not wanting to fall asleep because then…
…9 days
I went snowshoeing tonight with folks from HCT and some of our friends. We did a guided “full moon tour” up at Mount Seymour. It was so much fun! At first I was a little apprehensive. We headed off on a flattened uphill trail. The cold air was getting harder to breathe and I was thinking, “is this all we will be doing?” Then things got fun. It snowed last week so there were many pristine unbroken patches of white. Some covered in crispy frost and others were powdery and felt like butter to walk through. I kept on thinking about shortbread cookies…don’t know why. I forgot how much fun jumping in snow is, or sliding downhill, or falling - falling can be the best part. I also forgot how much I love the sound of nighttime + cold air + steps in snow. The atmosphere leaves me feeling very free and peaceful. Yeah winter is cold - but I’m happy that I grew up with snow. I would love to snowshoe everyday.
I just made the best soup. Well, I didn’t make it, but I spiced it up! I bought a carton of Imagine’s Organic Sweet Potato Soup and had a bowl for supper last night. Sure enough, as root vegetable soups can be a hit and miss with me, it was a little too sweet for my soupy tastes.
So today I went all stewart on it and added walnuts and feta cheese. Mmm it is sooo delicious! I heated the soup on low with the walnuts in it. The feta was added after taking the soup off of the heat. Try it! It’s yummy : )
Did I mention transcribing interviews yet? So yeah, that’s what I am working on now. It is actually not as bad as I thought it might be. I’m writing that so I can read this later and remind myself.
Just typed in something that I said:
Were there anythings…
Not the painful umm, and ahhs, and sos, nows, and likes but oh god. I justified it by retyping, were there any things but I don’t know if that is any better.
I’m hoping this exercise will help me ameliorate my speech.
Kissui has a very interesting post on Japanese style blogging - what a teenagers blog looks like and what some of the common “protocols” are. She illustrates this style by or course, mimicking it in her post.
Kissui herself (real name Yuki) is only 20 years old but she’s been blogging for four years. A lot of me does not believe that she is only 20. Not because she’s been blogging for four years, but because of the dedication she puts into her artwork and her writing. Ok so yeah, it’s not like we blossom once we hit 25 and life after that is this driven, passionate, creating machine. Many of us create partially through the desire to return to the age of 15-21, pick your favorite one. Adolescent energy can make marvelous things happen.
But check out her site and you might agree with me that there is some aura of maturity and accomplishment there - she also has some amazing graphics and photographs.
We Are Wolves were amazing. Out of all the wolf-titled bands in the world, I think they most warrant the use of the word “wolf” as they incarnate so many things that “wolf” is used to express. Even with the weak attendance last night, they still kept their energy up.
Vancouver where were you?
Other than that, it is day 4 of user testing. Quite an interesting experience but I don’t know how much I should share, you know…ethics and all. But I will make a remark on how humbling it is to listen to long recordings of yourself. On Sunday I was transcribing my interviews from Thursday and Friday and every sentence I said started with ok, umm, ahh, or so. I’m going to work on that. You can help me by giving me a glove slap if you here me using those words out of context.
I woke up this morning with a small hamster up my nose. Again. Lately I’ve been contemplating my half-assed approach to many things in life and this fits that bill quite well. I was almost hoping that I would wake up five inches from death and then I could spend the day on the couch with some books and the cordless, making the obligatory feel sorry for me phone call to my mother, but no. A cup of coffee and 2 ibuprofen later I’m well enough to sit up straight in a chair and start what could be a long bout of saturday style procrastination.
Then the landlord calls. He’s so sweet. He’s like, “Hello Meghan? This is Bruce Leto* if you don’t remember me…” Oh yes, I remember you, your name goes on that cheque every month. Every time I communicate with someone related to my apartment, I’m reminded of what a recluse I am without even meaning to be one.
(*made up name for concerns of landlord’s privacy)
Anyway, he was calling to let me know that some people were interested in viewing the apartment this weekend. This weekend meaning in two hours. So that gave me the needed kick in the bejewels to get my day started. Both my place and me were a mess. In the end though, I think we cleaned up really well. Except for this rust stain on my windowsill. It’s from the base of a cheap Urban Barn tealight holder. I wonder if that will cost me any security deposit. Damn you Urban Barn and your I didn’t notice until now oxymoronism.
Because it would be horribly scary to face potential future renters of my home I went out for groceries. Highlight of that: it’s a partly cloudy day and the sun shining through the cracks and hitting my back was the warm cozy sun of spring. On my return, I saw a couple leaving the apartment. They were making comments on the place and I was sooo trying to strain my ears to hear but I couldn’t.
God my desire to be evaluated amazes me. Last night I was walking home and a man stopped his bike at a “fallen” mailbox. I helped him lift it back up to the sidewalk. I felt like a hero and wanted a medal. Is this desire for grades and acknowledgement perhaps a product of a rewards-based school system?
One more thing before I go to bed. I haunt the Vancouver Craigslist missed connections page. I’ve never posted and don’t know if I ever will, but I find the posts amusing, interesting, and comforting. I like reading them at night, then remembering them when I’m on the bus the next day. I wonder, who on this bus has posted a missed connection. It might be a rare find. The two most common missed connection buses are the 22 and the 99 B-line. Someday I will do a statistical analysis of the craigslist archives and prove that.
Before that, I should at least start compiling a list of where beautiful(?) people in Vancouver work. Here’s a start, just in case you’re up for some food or fitness this weekend, delivered by people who are apparantly hot:
guy with piercing at the counter of Spartacus Gym
Blonde Male Cashier at Main Street IGA
Cute Cashier at 57th and W Boulevard grocery
Running Room sales girl
Actually, it seems like there’s a lot of action going on at the Main Street IGA. I might have to commute.
I am wasted. Exhausted. Last night I was wasted. So tired that all I could read before I fell asleep was the Safeway weekly flyer. Their new product is Oil of Olay Body Wash with Body Butter Ribbons. I fell asleep and then dreamt that I was moisturizing my legs.
