My camera is dying and that makes me sad. Seriously I had a flash of thought yesterday when the display was black with fuzzy purple lines - “what’s the point in living without a camera because I will not be able to capture my life and it will all be lost anyway”. A few seconds later I realized the absurdity of the thought but it still stuck with me and I contemplated why I feel the need to take pictures. Probably often, in the process, putting a barrier between me and my experiences. I’m not taking in this scenery entirely, just looking for a good shot.

So far a little smacking around gets the camera back into shape but soon it will be gone. Then I will take it apart and be curious for 15 minutes. And then I don’t know what I will do with it. It never received a name. Among waffles, pancakes (original body now empty but the pancakes spirit still exists to be embedded into a new body someday - pancakes II), syrup, orange juice, and poptart! it is the nameless one.

On the happy side, this is like the end of a relationship when you are going through the “oh yeah there are other fish in the sea phase”. On the train this morning I was eyeing up my friend’s camera. A possibility. We all need to move on.