For 30 seconds my microphone wielding hand shook uncontrollably but that was just me doing my Janis Joplin going through withdrawal impression. High tension. The word that I learnt this weekend was “kincho” (緊張) - tension.

After “Move Over” I felt better and I actually had a little fun. No - it was a lot of fun. Moments where I could break through nervousness to be a little expressive. Yuuki-chan sang the fifth song and I didn’t get around to learning the chorus part. During practice the day before I sat there listening and useless. Will I do this on stage too? But the song - it made me want to run somewhere, do something crazy. So I decided I would throw candy out to the audience while she sang.

Besides providing sweetness to people’s mouth (side note: “sweet sunday lather” was the live show’s name), the candy giving totally helped me get over a lot of my kincho. Often the cause is performing in front of people who stand or sit with no reaction (possibly because they are afraid of dancing, expressing, performing). Attempting or forcing (who’s gonna say no to candy??) a reaction from people helps me find out what they are feeling so that I can learn from/adjust to/feed off of that.