A phone conversation about weddings with a friend before going to sleep might have had something to do with it but, last night I dreamt of a wedding, my wedding - I was marrying a guy from highschool. I won’t say who it was but he was a nice, funny, popular guy who I probably didn’t talk to a single time throughout those four years. Why him I don’t know.

Anyway, we met again in Japan and for some reason that my dream didn’t bother showing, we really hit it off and decided that we should marry before either of us went back to Canada. One day after work two friends took me to a large, dark church and I was really nervous because I didn’t have anything to touch up my makeup with and my hair had not been cut in a while. They took me to a dark hall in the basement - low ceilings and izakaya tables. My fiance’s friends were already into the beer. In a side room I met him, he was wearing a gray tuxedo and also looked a little nervous but determined. “My mother came”, he said. “Oh wow - mine didn’t can I borrow yours?” She came into the room and after introduction we talked about all the places we might have met before.

I didn’t dream about the actual ceremony. I don’t know if there was one. There might have just been some introductions, drinking, the signing of a document and then suddenly I was in a large kitchen helping my new mother-in-law prep things for dinner. I was cutting something, I can’t remember what, into small cubes but it seemed to me an endless impossible task because no matter how many times I cut piece after piece in half, they seemed to stay the same size.

“When is he coming back?” I asked my mother-in-law. “I don’t know”, she responded, “but this is very important to him”. I then came to know (my dream-self knew this already) that immediately after the wedding my husband left for Alaska. He was Jewish and in Alaska a sacred mineral or scripture related to the Jewish faith had been found. The journey was dangerous but they said that he who comes into contact with this mineral or cave or scripture or stone or whatever it was will have something amazing happen to them. That I also can’t remember even though my mother-in-law talked about it with great detail and reverence while washing vegetables.

I understood that he had to be gone and I understood that maybe I would never see him again. Until he came back or until I received papers confirming his death or a request for divorce, I would stay in the kitchen cutting food endlessly.

I woke up thinking about how I can divorce him. He was a really great guy but we were just an odd couple.