10 days and I go back. It doesn’t seem real. Nothing seems real these days so it is hard to write about anything. I know my reality is that I am sitting in my room, my throat is dry, I am working on a presentation and final report of my work at NTT, and getting a little sleepy. But when I am not thinking about this real, my mind is standing 5 steps away from my body - wondering, dreaming, analyzing, planning. Every minute that ticks away is another minute gone.

I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for someone who is told they will die in some given time frame. With me I know there is an after but what that is - I have no clue. I only know it will be completely different from the before and the during.

Before: when I lived in Vancouver I slept a lot. I just read this bit on 10 foods for a good night’s sleep: bananas, honey, potatoes, oatmeal, almonds, flaxseeds, and whole-wheat bread…all but one were regular stock in my kitchen. I think I must have eaten to sleep.

Now: it is hard for me to sleep nowadays and I have oddly waken up at 3:20am every night for the past 3 nights.

I think that is all. My attention span has also been very short lately. I’ve been watching an episode of the Simpsons today in 2 minute intervals.  I think I can finish it before bedtime! (or watch it when I wake up at 3:20am)