The other night at supper A reminded me of craigslist missed connections. I had forgotten about them! Not so interesting when in another country and there is 0% chance of surprise…1% chance and I am sucked in!
I wrote about them before and this time, I’m thinking about the different types of posts. Some of the characteristics or variables are:

• frequency of encounters with the sought person: one to multiple times (possibly in daily routine)
• deepness of relationship: total stranger to someone very close
• location scope: specified (I saw you), guessing (I think you might live in…now), where??
• types of locations: transportation, grocery stores, restaurants, bars, shows, in the street, class etc.
• identifiers: physical descriptions, description of event or place, names
• interactions: nothing,  phone/email exchange, dancing, smile, conversation, being serviced (e.g. waiter), etc.
• seeker’s expectation: just throwing this out there to I must find you
• time: recent encounter to distant past
• (…)

The one thing I am not liking is this one dude pouring his heart out over an ex (I assume) that he misses deeply. Now I know, missed connections can be a good emotional outlet for broken-hearted people and there is that word “miss”(ed) in there. However, when somebody posts they are doing so for their own benefit - the small possibility that the person they seek will read the post and they can reconnect or connect again. At the same time, they are benefiting the community of missed connection readers by adding to perceived chance, arousing curiosity and satisfying some voyeurism. I feel like the sob letter posts do not provide the same benefit and enjoyment to the community and they add noise to the information I am interested in. Not that this is a service for my enjoyment, its purpose is missed connections, and maybe some people do enjoy reading about the heartbreak of others but…I wonder if a separate craigslist category would be more suitable? One between missed connections and rants and raves.

I was also wondering, if I was an Asian woman and I saw “Asian girl on the skytrain” how would I identify with that? Like…especially living in Vancouver. Maybe I wouldn’t even think about it. It is a physical description. I am “Tall girl on the 25″. But I wonder if the difference is that “Tall girl on the 25″ could be posted by any man but, I am going to guess that the guy who posted “Asian girl on the skytrain” is not Asian. Tell me if I am wrong but, if this is the case then it is interesting how, while specifying filter information, the man implicitly includes information about himself.

Finally, I have never written a missed connection myself and I wonder, if the occasion comes about in the future, will I be reflecting on the saucy man I saw in the soup aisle at the supermarket (sorry about that) and think - I should missed connect! Or, will I be composing the classified the moment I see him walk away with a can of Campbell’s tomato?

(Actually when I think about it, the soup aisle might have the lowest flow of male customers but I have no evidence to back that up. Though I am sure someone has researched male versus female flow through the grocery store and if I can’t fall asleep in the next 15 minutes I might just have to look that up.)