/section{meg}
Weird. I just had a dream that I was inside of my thesis. Trapped among 4 lines or so and trying to make a point of myself.
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Archive for January, 2008
there’s a title but I’m not finding it
I was in the building of some establishment, cement floors, plastic and chrome chairs, gray, and I walked out onto a balcony. The balcony was set in the side of a mountain belonging to a ring of mountains. It overlooked a deep valley lush in dark green evergreens, filled with fog, and tiled with blue Japanese rooftops surrounding what looked like a castle from Germany. I saw a giant sloth-like creature hanging out on an electricity line running from one side of the mountain ring to another. The creature was mossy green in colour, feathery, had the head of a sloth, but its arms and legs were thick and cylindrical like an elephant’s. I went for my camera. It jumped off the line and…didn’t fly but sort of floated (?) to the side of a tower. It could move very fast. Then it jumped again and came towards the balcony. I was scared. It was right next to me and I couldn’t look and I didn’t know what to do. Then I felt a giant, wet tongue land on my face and with its friendly lick, I woke up.
I think it was encouraging me to be all ganbatte on the thesis. Which is going okay. It feels like it will never end but I know eventually it will. How will I end with it?
Before the valley, in my dream, I had been hanging out in an old gym / greasy diner used primarily by senior citizens. They loved me being there because I was young but I acted like them. All the old men had tiny gym bags and pale hand towels slung over their shoulders.
So today while waiting for a prescription at Shoppers I contemplated being 80 and did the blood pressure check. It was low – too low? I love the feeling of my arm being squeezed as the cuff inflates.
A while before that I was jogging in the forest. Tree branches were sagging under the weight of the snow, adding little obstacles to my course. The only other people out were dog walkers – another obstacle I love. I’m not being sarcastic either. They are fun, squirmy little black, white, and golden hurdles. Otherwise, it was snow-packed-ears quiet and that was great.
I can’t wait to be done.
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Dear All,
The Masters exam for Ms. Meghan Deutscher has been scheduled for:
Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 1:30 p.m. in MCLD 418.
Meghan, be sure to have a copy of your thesis to each committee member and one copy on display in ECE Student Services no later than one week prior the exam.
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a m i up
I woke up awfully early this morning. Was thinking about my thesis and couldn’t sleep anymore. I guess that’s how it works. So I made some coffee, worked for a while, and three hours later, was down again for a mid-morning nap. I had forgotten what the mid-morning nap feels like, it’s been a while. I feel very mixed about them. On one hand, there’s the weird buzz from sleep right after coffee and some guilt accompanied with sleeping later in the morning. On the other hand, you wake up and it’s still before noon. You’ve had a nap and you still have the whole day ahead of you. Not like those naps that transition you from dusky daytime to inky nighttime and you wonder why you’re even waking up again but still feel panicked about getting something accomplished before the next sleep.
Morning nap after coffee. I had weird dreams and dreams within my dreams.
I was browsing ancient photos on waffles and found a series of ones taken around Christmas time that I had “forgotten about”. I had a sense that the photos were from a dream (in my dream), and then I think I took a small step from the current dream, became a viewer rather than actor, and saw the pictures as artifacts from another dream that had entered this dream.
The photos: taken at a visit to a large “winter wonderland” studio space equipped with mounds of cotton snow, cardboard log cabins, a white-gray ice skating floor, glitter, soft lights, tangerine and baby blue backgrounds, and candy canes. You could pay to get dressed in costume, skate around the studio, and be recorded.
I watched a video in the collection. I gracefully skated from a cardboard log cabin in green tights and frock, a red handkerchief around my neck and a beaming smile on my face.
It was weird how much I felt like I had actually been there and done that.
But never. Though I was quite happy to see myself skating so well.
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beach practice 2008
What a great day for a swim. This was the view outside when a sleepy me woke up this morning. A special day because it would be my first beach practice with the shitoryu seikokai karate club.
But snow?? It seemed like such freak weather. I knew it was going to be cold and ugly outside, but there was no forecast for snow! Luckily, it was only really snowing in neighborhoods at higher altitudes and when we arrived at English Bay (near downtown Vancouver), none of the white stuff was in sight. It was still a bit cold, and wet, but my excitement kept me going. That and raking the beach:
Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures of the actual practice. My camera was safely tucked away while I got sandy. But some people will put photos somewhere and there will also be a blurb on CBC Vancouver news tonight between 23:00 and 23:15 (in case you happen to be in Vancouver and read this in the next three and a half hours).
We had an hour of practice starting with a short run up and down the beach, stretching, basic techniques, a brief bit of basic kumite and then kata practice. Then we ran down the beach a second time, this time further and onto the road. But I ran on the grass. The cement was like daggers in my icy bare feet. Did I cheat? The mud was so soothing…
The final highlight was after coming back from the run, lining up on the shore, doing charging punches into knee deep water, coming back out again, and then running in fully. I love being in water and despite the temperature, was itching for it so I went quickly. With all the adrenaline from running it didn’t feel that cold but of course, it was, and my heart started thumping overtime to tell me so. I was actually really scared for that first 10 seconds. Could I have a heart attack? I had forgotten about that whole shock reaction thing. Possibly on purpose so that this morning wouldn’t be something that I dreaded. But my body settled down quickly enough. We came out of the water and headed to public washrooms to change into warm clothes. They had given us much advice on what to bring beforehand so the whole wet, freezing, and sandy thing was manageable.
After changing, everyone headed over to Tanpopo on Denman for all-you-can-eat. I’m not normally a fan of the all-you-can-eat but this time…it was so satisfying.
Before today, our sensei told us that we do beach practice in January because it is a challenge that, if taken on and overcome, makes all the challenges of the coming year seem easy. You can greet them with enthusiasm.
The thing that has stuck with me since the practice: life has big limitations but you should take on challenges anyway. Even if the limitations (frozen fingers and feet) decrease your performance (kata means form?), you will still be successful.
I came home, napped, had a hot shower, and am still feeling a little rough but…well it’s time to get back to that thesis work and I don’t feel like my physical discomfort will stop me.
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