Hey this thing is on! Only two and a half hours or so after that last post, Hendrik offered me cookies!
Thank you!
“Hrrr hmm…” {lowers voice} “…did you hear? Meghan could use a new hairdryer.”
OK, that’s the end of my third person-ing for a while.
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It is almost settled. My thesis defense date is almost set to be February 11th or 12th.
Holy crap. And I feel so utterly unprepared.
If I act like a robot in the next three weeks – it is because I am somewhat in panic mode.
Though in some ways I don’t feel panicked. I feel unprepared because I’ve never experienced what I’m preparing for and it’s really scary. There is a lot of work…but it doesn’t mean I can’t get the job done.
But please, if you can remember, in the next three weeks, please don’t ask me “how’s the thesis going?”. Things I prefer:
“Hey Meghan, do you want some cookies?”
“Have you seen some annoying advertisements lately?”
“How much do you ‘love’ CVS Meghan?” (This is if you want me to cry but I am willing to engage in this discussion if you are able to remind me about CVS’s good points.)
and “Hey, what’s your favorite colour today?”
In case you were thinking that I missed “how’s the job hunt going” on that list…I didn’t. I put out a few applications last week. I hope to get a few more out by the end of this week. But other than that, I need to focus on my thesis. If I am asked about the job hunt too much – I might have to start lying.
In December at a Christmas party someone popped the H’sTT question and I answered honestly. “So, so, but it’s taking so long. I have been making progress, but only bit by bit. It seems so hard”. A friend and fellow student hearing this laughed at me, “Meghan – you’re too honest! Most people would just say ‘yeah yeah it’s going great, no problems there!’”
It occurred to me that I could do that. It would feel like a lie but what about all those times someone asks “how are you?” and you respond “great!” despite the cold-shower-stubbed-toe-forgot-to-charge-the-ipod-morning.
I think I might stick with telling the truth. And I should talk about my cold showers more.
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If you want to buy me something:
As blogged by Trends in Japan, the あめdeわたあめ or ame-de-watame or literally “cotton candy from candy” is an at home cotton candy maker using – your own, personal, choice candy! Feed it a hard candy, any flavour, and it melts it down and spins it into floss.
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A weekend beginning in new year celebration with the karate club. We went to Sakura, a Japanese restaurant in Richmond. The food felt closer to common izakaya fare in Japan when compared to the “fashionable” izakayas like Zakkushi and Kingyo. Although I really like those places, the food is still given enough twist to be different and foreign.
I ate the onigiri to the right and it was yummy, as was everything else and the sake.
Then I woke up the next day and I was a year older. What do I think about that?
As usual, conflicted over the extent that I should acknowledge it. But in the end, it will never not be acknowledge so I shouldn’t try to hide from self-reflection. This year’s theme was of course the need to finish school and find a job. Then there was the consideration that a year from now my life will be completely different. That brings up a mixture of: fear – what will it be?, urgency – I need to make it something, and excitement – there are so many possibilities.
This morning I had a dream where I returned to Japan to continue work at NTT. The office room was darker, people were busy. I sat down at my desk and it was somewhat cleaned up since the time I left. I wished that I was wearing new clothes. I tried to work but couldn’t find the motivation. It actually felt like I was going backwards.
I woke up knowing I have to move forward.
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