This seems fishy…
Wired News: Big Car, Big Tax Credit
How do all these city folk justify their SUVs? SUVs make me angry.
Archive for Evil Things
Went on a dinner cruise and all I got was a runny nose
I was looking into the water. It looked so calm and I wanted to jump off the boat and into the water. It was nice at first. Good conversation, met a few new people. Was a little disappointed that they didn’t have the vegetarian option that was advertised in the party’s notice but not so much because there was nothing else to eat (good salad and rice and veggies) but because I was craving that tortellini. Damn.
The dinner was over and the music kicked in. Awfully loud music. I looked around me and realized I was surrounded by couples. In two you do not need to worry about not talking to people, you always have your mate. Double the conversation support if you do meet someone.
I didn’t hate alone. I’ve learned how to take alone and make it into something good, something important to have. I enjoyed the views of Vancouver. I couldn’t think of being there with someone. I just wanted to not be there anymore.
It was the music that ticked things off. Music not really music but noise that I can’t get away from. Not bad at first but then you realize you cannot communicate with people because it is too loud. You try to talk over but it just makes your throat hurt.
For the last hour and a half I found a spot on the boat with the minimum volume / maximum warmth at a balance. I watched yaletown float by and wondered what was going on in all those sky boxes reaching tall. I saw the abandoned celebration of lights barge waiting to shine next summer. I chuckled when we passed under a bridge (Clark St?) and 3 kids were standing in the light, dancing to the YMCA playing. I wondered if they were laughing at us and I wanted to tell them I was not having fun.
Finally it was time for home. I busted ass off that ship vowing to never go on a dinner cruise again. Except for if it is not work related and involves copious amounts of alcohol :)
Sceliphron Laetum
Or the mud wasp. I did a little research and found this. It is definitely the insect that flew into my apartment this morning. That skinny little waist is its trademark. I’ve never seen one before today and I hope to never see one again. They are just creepy. Though sources say that they are not too aggressive.
Could I ever move to a tropical land?
Major freak out this morning. I had just sat down with a bowl of oatmeal and cup of coffee when a large unidentified flying bug came into my apartment through the open window. I’ve never seen such a ghastly looking bug and still am unsure of what it was. I was about 2″ in length, thick like a wasp, and it’s two body segments were quite separated from each other. It’s bottom seemed to hang low as it propelled through the air. Was it a queen? It was huuuuge!
My first instinct was to lock myself in my room and hope that by midday it would go away. Then I realized that my coffee was outside and I was having such a great morning - wouldn’t want to ruin that with a caffeine withdrawal headache. I decided that it cannot hurt me if I wear armour. Here’s what I came up with (to be worn over cat-printed pyjamas):
- a thick bunnyhug with hood up, black in case it is attracted to bright colours
- thick wool socks, again, black
- I need hand protection so I chose a pair of silver fitted costume gloves. At first they seemed silly but then I realized they were the optimal choice. They could be pulled up to my elbows, the material was quite thick, but their fittedness allow for maximum finger movement.
- a black hooded cape made of a meshy transparent material. I donned the hood and wrapped the cape around my face because it just might be the kind of insect that would go for the face.
With all my orifices covered I tiptoed back into the living room. Luckily I saw it right away. I was worried that it would borrow itself somewhere, leaving me uncertain to whether it was gone or was just building a nest an laying eggs all over my apartment.
It was flying near the windows. This was also good. It was a sign that whatever it was, it wanted out. It was not looking to intrude. It was bad because I had to get closer to it to open the blinds, freeing the door way out. I lunged to the blind string a pulled, lunging back into the “safe zone”. It was caught! My plant had its leaves to close to the blinds and on rolling up, they grabbed hold of one leaf. The plant was pulled from its table and was hanging by the blinds. Risking an attack by the bug, I leaped forward again to release the plant. This time the blinds rolled up the whole way. When I settled down again, I realized that a candle holder had also been rolled up with the blind (it had been on the window sill). This would have to do. There was ample room for the insect to realize that the outside world was waiting for it. A few seconds later it flew out the window and it was quite a while before its body finally disappeared in the distance.
Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’
I just got a phone call from a travel representative at the Ramada Plaza Resorts because I was demographically chosen out of 1000 entrees at an event I attended a few weeks ago. He called to tell me that I was chosen to receive a Florida to the Bahamas vacation package. My first words were an exclamed, “REALLY?!!”, but his hesitation in joining me in my excitement made me realize that this was not so much luck as it was my being a 24 year old single white female. He explained the details to me and slowly I realized that by securing a payment now, I would have a cruise guaranteed for me in the future, provided that I also flew down to Florida. He spent 5 minutes going through his little bit and then I got him to clarify the expenses. That I would have to pay on the phone right there and then to secure a trip I could maybe take sometime in the future. I realized at this point that their are two types of people: those that can make impulse (and I mean impulse) over the phone and those who cannot. I was one who cannot. He was going off about suites and spas and orlando and free car rental and I was thinking about plane tickets and medical shots and how much money I would waste shopping if I were sent down south. I was adding up how much everything would cost in time and money and before he finished his speech I had figured that it would be more than the “deal” I would get on this package. I could not do it. Damn him for making my heart race with thoughts of sand and turquoise sea.
I later did some googling and found some testimonies of these vacation packages at the Ripoff Report. I was right to think it’s a “scam”. Not just that they make you feel you are getting something for free, but they don’t tell you of your obligations to sit through several 2-hour long sales pitches for time shares. Still, I’m amazed at the alarm that rang in my head as I continued talking to the Ramada fella.
We are so used to people trying to rip us off that if someone actually wants to give something away, we find all the strings attached. All the contests, and sweepstakes, and sales, and surveys that you fill out to enter and win BIG… …they are not taken seriously because they have been abused. They are abused. Is there anybody who does not abuse them? Is there anybody who is really going to give something away for free. It bugs me that I don’t think so.
Tattoed thief on the loose
I am back in Vancouver after 20 days in Regina (or about that many). I am tired, my place is a mess, my extra Christmas pounds are not needed in this mild weather, I have no more toilet paper, and the work is stacking up. But it all creates a lot of motivation.
I came home to not as much mail as I would have expected. I did receive an envelope from Canada Post, inside containing another envelope delivered from California by first class air mail. They say the envelope was found in a public place. Unfortunately its contents were cleaned out. It was supposed to contain 4 sheets of Don Hertzfeldt temporary tattoos; a gift for Jemma. Oh the pain. Why would somebody take them? I mean, okay, maybe I would. Still…
Then I just thought now - somebody out there may put these tattoos on. What would I do if I saw some guy walking around with Billy and his balloon on his arm??
