Thank you!

“Hrrr hmm…” {lowers voice} “…did you hear? Meghan could use a new hairdryer.”

OK, that’s the end of my third person-ing for a while.

Aww poor thing! It was a freshly baked pie too! Out the oven, out the door and then that’s it – the pie becomes crippled. But it tastes the same, she could still bring it. Yes it does taste the same. I suggested that she should offer it has apple crumble and then people will not notice the difference.

Then an even better name came out: apple schlepenfahl

I’m sure that joke has been used for as long as apple pies have existed, but I just woke up from a nap and need something to chuckle about.

Heh, snowball effect. I wrote “woke up for a nap”. That may have been me in year 2 of graduate school. Just kidding, but really, I like that expression.

…the old shoes can’t come with me. No matter how attached I feel to them.

This morning I threw away the keds (March 2006 – March 2007):

Bought the week before I came to Japan and worn until I came back to Vancouver a year later.

More heartbreaking, I through away my Sugar shoes (August 2002 – sometime winter 2007):

They were purchased when I visited my sister in San Fran that many summers ago. I could probably still get another year or so out of them but really, I have not worn them much since the fall and I don’t flatten well for packing.

Actually as I wrote the above I thought about shoe bronzing but that would be heavy and bulky still. Then I thought – oh – I totally should have taken them apart and at least made something with them (something flat). To late…darn it.

K so I’ve had to deal with hex before but this is like…I used a hex editor.

If you spend a lot of time on computers or programming this might be a fairly insignificant event for you but for me – there is some strangeness to it.

Luckily it is helping me find answers. I am battling with character encodings in Java. I have to convert text (possibly Japanese) encoded in iso-2022-jp to utf-8 and it is only half working. Some characters (mostly hiragana but a few kanji) are showing up as ???. I’ve been able to figure out that in my program, characters are been properly converted from iso-2022-jp to their Unicode values. So it is a problem when going from Unicode to utf-8.

I’m sure this was really interesting for you all…

Oh! Last night after work I missed a train by a few seconds and in my frustration I bought this strange hot sweet red bean beverage from the station vending machine. I can’t remember the name but I will try to post a picture tomorrow. It was nice at the time but on reflection I don’t know if it is necessarily good to consume habitually.

For most of the shower I found that I was replacing my vision with mental images of the shower around me. Not necessarily the important things like where the shampoo and conditioner are and don’t knock over that can of shaving cream but things like the colour of the shower curtain and the fact that a vent is above my head.

At moments the urge to open my eyes was very strong. Maybe dehydration from last night’s drinking had something to do with it. Right now my eyes feel dried up and tired. I want to exercise them, stretch them, open-shut, and open-shut, and wide.

I had thoughts of falling asleep. My mind was being tricked into thinking it was bedtime because the go to sleep signal (shut eyes) was given. My breathing also became a lot slower, sometimes stopping and I had to remind myself to take bigger breaths.

Most things in the shower I could do with ease because I have memorized the body movements. I got thrown off trying to find my sponge hanging from part of the shower fixture. I was looking for the fixture first and got lost on the wall. I always get lost on walls…lose my perception of distance up/down/left/right.

(Side story: when I was younger we visited some family friends and stayed overnight. I stayed on the top bunk in a room with a girl the same age as me. During the night I slept-walked off the bunk and ended up on the floor by the closed door, next to a dresser. I woke up and could feel the door, feel a wall, feel something wooden beside me, but everything was dark and I could not remember where I was. I was trying to find the doorknob…maybe there would be light outside the door. But I was lost on the wall and the door – could not remember how high a typical doorknob would be placed. Pawing at the wall I panicked and resorted to screaming for help. My mother came. The next morning I came to breakfast with a very very very red face.)

I faced my first real challenge after the shower. It was time to put on face cream and I use a type that requires application of two liquids from two bottles of identical form and one should go on before the other. How do I tell the difference? It took me a couple of moments, holding the hard bottles in my hands, to realize that I could shake the bottles and distinguish them by the density of liquid inside – one was more watery than the other. This made me think a lot about the details that we store in our minds that are not so frequently accessed.

Actually, another problem that I faced before coming out of the shower was the issue of product quantity. How can I tell the amount of shampoo or conditioner being dispensed? It was complete guesswork. In my head there was no information on how long I should squeeze the bottle, what a certain amount might feel like in my hand…I have always calculated this using only visual information.

Movement out of the shower and into my room was harder. In the shower I was in a confined place and could easily make mental images of the space around me. I was comforted by constant walls. Coming out of the bathroom, there was uncertainty in space beyond my arm’s reach. To compensate, my mind made walls around me. Moving in a wide space I was still mentally in an area similar to that of the shower – perhaps even smaller.

The room smelled sweeter than before. I finished drying, put on my housecoat and sat down at my desk. Reaching for waffles, I found its coldness right away. Something was on top – one of my Japanese books. I moved it over thinking about how I was using it prior to having a shower. This made me think about relying on recollecting past actions/events when you cannot use visual information. We see the states of things with little processing in the conscious mind…the eyes guide. Is this blindness good for exercising 思い出すこと? (=omoidasu-ing… I like the Japanese word because 思う is to think and 出す is to take/send out…it creates a better image of recollecting, remembering, collecting thoughts, bringing thoughts up.)

Now I have the window open. A cool breeze is coming in. I can feel it intensely on my bare feet. The air is sweet with the aroma of my shower products and the sun makes things glow.

My mind feels refreshed. There are still brain cramps from drinking last night but it is refreshed in terms of thought generation. I am not thinking the same thoughts that cycled over and over before my shower and I feel as though I have a quickly reflex to act on ideas. Heh – this can be a good OR bad thing but in my case I think it is currently good. I tend to get ideas, think yeah that would be interesting, but then not act on them and instead occupy myself with the useless chatter in my head (ex. my teeth are too crooked, I need to buy more milk, etc).

Two thoughts that came and were acted on immediately:

(1) I looked around me and thought about photographing junk piles and signs of usage around the home to capture activities and experiences in spans of mundane time. The pictures below are this morning:

(laptop
a Halls that will never get eaten because my cough is gone
folders with papers to read for thesis
FANCL receipt for face cleansing products I spent too much money on
an empty pack of のど candies that I have recently become addicted to (remainder from my cough experience)
a box that the vase from my glass blowing experience was shipped in – it seems like such a good box I can’t part with it so it is now the base of my FANCL calendar – reward for spending so much money on their products in hopes of virgin-like skin
a red plastic bag that feels too good to throw away
the USB cord for my camera
mail concerning the 10k race in 3 weeks
a catalogue that was subscribed to by former resident of my room….I’ll have to write about its contents another time)

(when I look at this picture I can remember the dreams that I had before the bed obtained this state. it was a really deep comfortable sleep. in the morning I did not want to get out of bed.)

(2) I started to write this in my usual manner – going straight through from beginning to end – then remembered that I would forget all my thoughts a third of the way through and stop writing. So I quickly made points of everything I thought about. I always think I should do this when I write but still, usually I don’t and then I get writer’s block and then I stop. The above was successfully constructed using the first-make-points method

I don’t know if this end bit is related to my 15 minutes of blindness but I think I will continue to incorporate periods of blindness into my routines in order to sharpen my dulling senses and refresh the lesser used functions of my brain.

update: It appears as though my heater is indeed broken.

second update: Moo died.

It’s fun learning which names come to mind before others. Even more fun is learning which names come to mind first, but I can’t write them because…I just can’t.

I came to “U” and “V”. “V” instantly brought up Victor but “U”…I have written this post and I still cannot think of a men’s “U” name. Can someone help me? I keep coming up with things like, Uruguay but…that’s a country. If I know someone who has a name beginning with “U” and I am not remembering it at the moment…I am sooooo sorry. But I am stuck!

Now, I don’t think I could take this to court or anything – there are too few sample points. But it still speaks something to me. I am also guessing that if I were to include my “busy” utterances over phone conversations and text chats, my data set would escalate into something very much statistically significant.

Please note that the Aug 2006 mention is not this post.