Example: 大抵 (taitei) means “usual” used in a sentence like “on usual days…”

大 has meaning of “big” and
抵 has meaning of “resist”

Learning that, I started to see the “usual” as being “big resistance” (ie. to change).

This happens often. A word fits and you use it over and over again and one day you actually read the definition and realize how wrong it is for your ideas.

evaluation: the act or result of judging the worth or value of something or someone

At some point I made evaluation mean the act of seeking understanding and I guess at times people judge to seek understanding but I am more interested in understanding gained by stripping away judgements.

Now I need to find a new word. This is gonna take all Friday night folks.

which is making me wonder – what does it say when a person avoids capital letters? are they in a hurry – they can’t take the time to hit shift? is it a coolness that is being projected? is it modesty? they do not want to capitalize “I->i” but then they realize that de-capitalizing i while keeping all other capital letters makes it look like they are trying too hard so they de-capitalize everything. and then someone’s name comes up and you have to question your relationship with them – “is it appropriate for me to not spell their name with a big first letter?” and sometimes, even if their name would look way cooler all lowercase, you just have to capitalize.

and because i am working in all lowercase here and because it is saturday night and i am working on a presentation but also working through huge frustrations at myself for how much i don’t express because i am too scared about what people will think of me and finally because you might not ever ever hear me actually sing it, i will share with you the words to a song I wrote (and no not while brainstorming for thesis ideas):

glass plate in my throat
rubber tube in my stomach
i am searching for the words
from the eloquence machine
to explain why i can’t digest you

these robotic legs
can’t take me fast enough
from the magnetic pull
between you and me
that promises destruction within us

and i can say that i’d take the chance
with every implant in me
that could process my thoughts of you
and make my actions the same
who knows where i would go
if i could disappear
when i catch sight of you
with my cyber gear

body’s all plastic now
so that you can’t grow on me
i am multi-coloured themed
my template fits the scene
and i hope it makes you jealous

don’t worry, i won’t make this poetry corner (sort of speaking for myself because my poem/mediaspace maximum is about three. any more than that and my eyes crust over and i can’t see the point). i just need to put it…somewhere.

If things work out I will eventually buy a karategi (I think that is what it is called…karate training uniform). Most of the people in the club have their names embroidered on their karategi and they told me I should think of kanji for me name. Why not use the katakana (メーガン　ドイッチャ）? Because you pay per character and it can be written in fewer kanji characters. So I have thought about this before. I think I know how it works of course I could be horrible wrong or unaware of some rules but…first I break my name down to: me – gan – do – i – cha and then I find kanji with readings of those syllables. Again, I might be totally missing something but…this is just to entertain myself. Taking my first name and a kanji reference book I found the following kanji for me:

目 (eye)
芽 (sprout)

and the following for gan:

岩 (rock)

岸 (coast, shore)

頑 (obstinate, stubborn)

願 (prayer, wish, vow)

丸 (circle)

元 (origin)

眼 (eye)

顔 (face)

含 (include)

癌 (cancer)

鴈 (wild goose)

Now for many of the above symbols, gan is a Chinese reading of the symbol. I don’t know if Chinese readings are typically used but I think you can use them. So what are good and meaningful combinations?　目眼(eye-eye)? 目顔(eye-face)? 目癌(eye-cancer)? The eye kanji would be good because it is very simple. But combinations of sprout might be more meaningful like, I am 芽願 (a sprout’s prayer). 芽頑 uses the kanji for “stubborn” which is typically viewed as a negative word but is it always negative? Stubborn can be firm, strong, steady. I am a stubborn sprout meaning that I am firmly rooted.
But am I?

Anyway, I will have to think about this one for a bit. Will probably also want to consider the aesthetics, recognizability (is that a word), and my ability to write the kanji.

無芸大食
むげいたいしょく
mugeitaishoku

meaning: lacking the talent to do anything but eat, a noun I think…mugei is lacking talent, taishoku is gluttony. I like it.

Bathe with Jesus

Have not ventured past the first page of the site and don’t think I will but…oh boy. I laughed, and then it made me a little sad, then I laughed again.

This makes me think about the meaning of words based on their top google results. Search for “apple” and you get Apple computers, far from the fruit…”banana” leads me to Banana Republic first.  Search engines load and expand the meaning of our words.

Now the meaning of “bathe” shall be forever changed to me .

1. To reduce the value or impair the quality of.
2. To corrupt morally; debase.
3. To make ineffective; invalidate.

Usage:

Thus the substantial work by the artist in constructing a response system has been vitiated by a too tenuous connection between action and reaction. (Stephen Boyd Davis)

I like it.